Journal entry October 31, 2000 |
Today was without a doubt,
the worst day of my life!
I could not have hurt him more,
if I had cut him with a knife!
I hope he can forgive me,
for what I 'have done to him today-
because I didn't have another choice,
there just wasn't any other way!
For I was called upon to save,
all the lives of my best friends -
I had to deceive my soul mate,
or else the world would end!
All my feelings I had to cast aside,
to make the future right-
But I would give my heart and soul,
to change what it was I did tonight!
For me to sacrifice the world,
for fourteen years of total bliss-
doesn't make much sense to me,
and so it came to this!
But deception is not a part of me,
for I'm not made up that way-
to myself, I must become a stranger,
to make it through this day!
All of the love I hold for him,
so deep within my heart-
I must conceal from myself tonight,
although it's tearing me apart!
How could such a burden,
be placed upon someone like me?
someone who could find such happiness
in him just loving me?
Why is life so complicated?
Why must it all fall on me?
Why couldn't someone else,
do this instead of me?
I hope this plan was worth it!
should we have considered first-
the possibility that maybe,
we might be making the future worse!
What will Max do now?
for everyone can surely see-
he's bound to respond poorly,
for he's just as much in love with me-
Oh my soul mate please forgive me,
for only I know that what I've done-
was to preserve for us the future,
a long and prosperous one!
We will have to rebuild slowly,
the relationship that we once had-
but when looking back from then to now,
It won't have been so bad!
Just know that I never stopped loving you,
and what I did to you today-
will be a dark spot in my memory,
until my dying day!
The tears I'm shedding now my love,
are tears of sorrow and of pain-
but this secret I have now,
inside ME must remain-
Until YOU secure the future Max,
the one we hope to gain-
This secret I must keep from you,
Somehow I must refrain.
I'll watch over you and love you,
from the shadows until when-
you can find it in your tender heart,
to love me once again!!
I'm Liz Parker, and- - - my heart is broken!