Journal entry November 6, 2000

I'm not really sure how much more
this heart of mine can take!
After all it's only seventeen
for heavens sake!

Lying to him once was
hard enough for me to do-
Now it suddenly appears,
that my lying isn't through!

I must continue this deceit,
for how long I do not know!
but it's weighing heavy on me
and I fear that it will show!

He knows me well enough
for he's seen into my soul
I'll never get away with this
soon he's bound to know-

just by looking into my eyes
and seeing this blank stare-
that there's something wrong with me!
something I won't share!

Seeing Kyle and I.............
I can't even say the words-
I am haunted by his expression
how he was shocked and so disturbed!

Neither of us can sleep at night,
so what do I do now?
I must help him change the future,
and do it fast somehow!

This gift of love we've been given,
surely wasn't meant to end!
and we certainly can't go on like this,
we're now barely even friends!

Grandma Claudia, you sure were right,
about how complicated it will be-
but why does solving the worlds problems
seem to always fall back on only me?

Here I am Liz Parker
student at Roswell High-
trying to change the future,
and no one can know but I!

I'd give my life to have his love
But that I've already done
for fourteen years of future,
that's how all of this had begun!

I feel so trapped, so all alone,
I wish I had a book!
To tell me what I must do next,
For into it I would surely look-

for logical answers that I can't find
here in my little world-
I need the knowledge of a scholar,
to help this little Roswell girl!!!!

I'm Liz Parker...and I'm so confused!

by...sandman