Love Poems by sandman

Volume 11


The handprint that replaced my wound-Faded,
and then went away- But the impression he
made upon my heart- I trust is there to stay!

For I have fallen hard for him- Of that you can
be sure- And we are so much closer at this
moment- Than we ever were!

We will need some time for healing- For there
are things we must resolve- But the obstacles of
times gone by- Are beginning to dissolve!
And I get the impression- That things now will
go our way- And we can start all over- With the
lessons learned from yesterday!

We can't deny each other- And we can't withhold
the truth- For to do so almost cost us- All the joy
and wonder of our youth!

If you ever got the impression- My love for him was
never strong- Please believe me when I tell you that
you were oh so very wrong!

Breaking laws and lying for him- Jumping off of bridges
wide and tall- Pales by comparison in what I'd do for
him- For he's my soul mate after all!

Our love has survived invasions- Manipulations, deceit
and lies- We've fended off all of the evil things- That
have passed before our eyes!

I'm sure that things will still occur- To challenge us I trust-
But we know that we belong together- Until our bodies
turn to dust!



If we had never met like this- I mean had I never gotten
shot - Do you think that fate would have intervened- In
some other kind of plot?

Would some other event have taken place- To put you
in my heart- Or were you always there somehow- Right
from the very start?

Do things like this just happen? Just at random and by
chance? Is there someone or something in control of this?
Or do we exist by mere circumstance?

Iíd like to think that you believe- God really does exist-
And created the love that we two have- Oh Max, please
donít resist!

Youíre too sensitive and understanding- To kind and warm
a man- To think that all of this can be- Without someoneís
helping hand!

I hate to think that youíd deny- That he made you just for
me- I have got to make you understand- Iíve got to make
you see!

While laying there upon the floor that day- I heard you speak
my name- And thereís no doubt in this girls mind- Itís from
heaven that you came!

It doesnít matter that you came to me- Not from a womb,
but from a pod- But only that you came to me- By the grace
of God!!
There are times that youíve left me speechless-
When just nothing could be said!
And all of my life just crumbled-
And confusion filled my head!

Then there were times my imagination-
Ran wild with strange desire!
To be held tightly in your arms-
Just set my heart on fire!

You seem to always be there-
When I needed you the most!
And I returned the favor-
When you were haunted by that ghost!

I could always sense your presence-
Before Iíd turn and see you there!
Like some telepathic signal-
That just the two of us would share!

And then I had the secret-
That I had to keep from you!
And Max I canít express just what-
This poor heart of mine went through!

I know I made you suffer-
But there was nothing I could do!
I had to make you think that-
What it was you saw was true!

Nothing mattered more to me-
But that you were safe and well-
I took that oath the very day-
that in love with you I fell!

Journal entry October 31, 2000

Today was without a doubt,
the worst day of my life!
I could not have hurt him more,
if I had cut him with a knife!

I hope he can forgive me,
for what I 'have done to him today-
because I didn't have another choice,
there just wasn't any other way!

For I was called upon to save,
all the lives of my best friends -
I had to deceive my soul mate,
or else the world would end!

All my feelings I had to cast aside,
to make the future right-
But I would give my heart and soul,
to change what it was I did tonight!

For me to sacrifice the world,
for fourteen years of total bliss-
doesn't make much sense to me,
and so it came to this!

But deception is not a part of me,
for I'm not made up that way-
to myself, I must become a stranger,
to make it through this day!

All of the love I hold for him,
so deep within my heart-
I must conceal from myself tonight,
although it's tearing me apart!

How could such a burden,
be placed upon someone like me?
someone who could find happiness
in him just loving me?

Why is life so complicated?
Why must it all fall on me?
Why couldn't someone else,
do this instead of me?

I hope this plan was worth it!
should we have considered first-
the possibility that maybe,
we might be making the future worse!

What will Max do now?
for everyone can surely see-
he's bound to respond poorly,
for he's just as much in love with me-

Oh my soul mate please forgive me,
for only I know that what I've done-
was to preserve for us the future,
a long and prosperous one!

We will have to rebuild slowly,
the relationship that we once had-
but when looking back from then to now,
It won't have been so bad!

Just know that I never stopped loving you,
and what I did to you today-
will be a dark spot in my memory,
until my dying day!

The tears I'm shedding now my love,
are tears of sorrow and of pain-
but this secret I have now,
inside ME must remain-

Until YOU secure the future Max,
the one we hope to gain-
This secret I must keep from you,
Somehow I must refrain.

I'll watch over you and love you,
from the shadows until when-
you can find it in your tender heart,
to love me once again!!


Divine Intervention

Being a friend to her was not working out-
I had prayed there would be so much more-
I always had hope in this poor heart of mine-
To win over the one I adored-

The good times were great, but they were so few- And I think
some how she lost her way- When the going got tough she
wanted out-But she never said why, to this day!

I never believed, the things that I saw- Although I feel that she wanted me to- And I'll never know why, till the day that I die- Her reason for what she's putting me through!

She came to me one day- .....and said she had something to say-
Something she had on her mind! ....."Were going no where with
this love that we share- .... And I hope you don't think this unkind!"
"I was willing to lie for you, .....but I don't want to die for you-
If you love me you will just set me free-.....We're different in so
many ways it's impossible, .....oh my darling- why can't you see-
We're no good for each other -.....I'm feeling so smothered,.... I just
don't know what else I can do! ....Forgive me for going and leaving
you grieving,..... but sweetheart you must feel it too-.....We must have
mistaken these feelings we have- .....For it's just something that's not
meant to be-.....We gave it a try but my love, bye and bye-.....You will
have to forget about me!"..............

I only know that I still love her so-And I probably will ever more-
And I wish she could see, the misery in me-Since we're not like
we were once before!

But she has a new life now that she wants to live- And I fear
that it don't include me- She wants to move on and forget
days bygone, And asked me to please set her free!

She's gone her own way now ,and I have gone mine-I've made
so many mistakes on the way- But my biggest one yet, is to think
I could forget- a love that grows stronger each day!

And then one wild night, I held someone else tight -And within
her now grows a child! Seduced, or seducer I didn't know just
which- Until I found out that I'd been beguiled!

To confess my indiscretion, to my only true love- Took all of the
strength that I had! And with tears in her eyes- She surrendered a
sigh- I could see she was too hurt to be mad!

"Did you see the things you saw with me?....When you shared
with her a kiss?..... Did stars appear and worlds collide-.... In
those moments of tenderness?".... The love we shared when now
compared, to what you have with her-..... Is she as special as I
once was?..... Does she set your heart astir? ....."Do you feel
for her, as the way you felt for me?..... And are you truly sure,......
that happiness is in your heart- ....Are you in love with her?"..........

The only thing that I could say, in my own defense- Was what I
did with someone else- Just didn't make much sense- Do I love
her? Maybe yes- Am I IN love with her? No!- I could never be

in love with anyone but you! This I truly know!

Then I told her we were leaving- Going back into the stars-
Back home to where we once came from, with this unborn
child of ours!

Then with deep regret, I pressed my lips to hers- for one final
Kiss- I ran my fingers through her silken hair- And my mind
reeled in remiss!

The tears of sorrow, upon her cheek- Will haunt me throughout
all time- Stay strong! I had to tell myself- As I desperately
held back mine!

"I guess then this is good bye" she said-And then she turned to
go- She flashed a sweet and gentle smile- And my tears
began to flow!

So desperately I wished that we- Could go back and start
again! I couldn't bear the thought of her- In the arms of
another man!

This must be how she had felt- When she learned of my
indiscretion- How could a love so sweet and warm- End
in such depression?

There's nothing left here for me now- But to tie up some loose
ends- Remove all traces of my past- And say goodbye to my
good friends!

The time has now run out for us- And decisions we must
make-Do we take the final step- And our emotions now

Michael makes the first one-As he says that I must leave
alone- For after all of his years of searching- He has finally
found his home!

My sister says that she'll still go- Leaving Michael makes
her sad- That I'm still 'her life' but she regrets- Leaving
Mom and Dad!

For the first time in my life I felt- The need for me to pray-
That through some divine intervention- I too could be
allowed to stay!!!!!!!!!!!!!


~The Proposal~

Liz, the memories of from where I come-
Lay dim within my mind-
I only know that my fondest thoughts-
Are those of you, I find-
My life began the day I saw-
This girl with big brown eyes-
Who swept her way into my heart-
And made me realize-
This life of mine had purpose now-
And it was for me to find-
A way to make you feel for me-
A way to make you mine!
A way to make you love me-
Just half as much as I do you-
That alone would make my life fulfilled-
Make all my dreams come true!
I make you now this promise-
That you will always be-
The center of my universe-
Throughout all eternity-
My love will never falter-
It is only yours to share-
You only need to ask of me-
And my darling, Iíll be there!....

Liz Parker, will you marry me???

~~~The Acceptance~~~

Max, My parents would often ask me-
"Liz, why do gaze up at the stars-
Why is your head up in the clouds-
We worry for you, daughter of ours-
While the other girls are thinking-
About clothes and handsome boys-
You stare into your telescope-
And seldom make any noise!
Just what is it youíre looking for-
Out in that big black pond -
The sun, the moon the planets?
Or is it something far beyond?"
All that I could say to them-
Was that I felt some kind of call-
Something out there beaconing -
But Mom, Dad, most of all-
It is something I belong to-
Something that I need-
And the signal that Iím feeling-
Is too strong not to heed!
Something dark and mysterious-
That Iím being pulled into-
Soon than I would realize-
My darling "IT WAS YOU"
So if you want me, Liz Parker
I would be so blessed-
To have you as my husband-

Max, my answerís yes!!!!

Sense you there

There's some kind of bond we have-
That's hard for others to believe-
But my heart is overcome each time-
You enter or you leave!

I get this strange sensation-
That just with you I share-
For I can sense your presence-
Before I turn to see you there!

They tell me that I imagine it-
But it's too strong for me to deny-
I guess it's just a "soul mate thing"
That's shared by you and I!

And when you leave and I'm alone-
I somehow don't feel whole-
Like an emptiness I can't explain-
As though with you went my soul!

And while you are away from me-
I pray that God keeps you in his care-
Until I can sense again your presence-
Before I turn and see you there!

I love the love that we two have-
It feel so right to me-
And I wish that all the others knew-
Just how awesome it can be!

For there's no greater feeling-
That I know can be compared-
Than for me to sense your presence-
Before I turn to see you there!

How can one person be so lucky-
As I am to have you-
I wish that I could explain it all-
So everybody knew-

I would hope that they could have-
The same love that we two share-
So they could sense their one true love-
Before they turn and see them there!

But I guess it's something special-
And not felt by everyone-
Something God gave you and me-
That can never be undone!

So my love, be rest assured -
Your love, your lady fair-
Will always sense your presence-
Before she turns to see you there!


Wind across the waves-

Blows you far from me-
May you find your way-
Over the wild seven seas!
And oh! My heart goes with you now-
To the edge of your dreams!

And you will dive deep into life-
And you will dive deep into sorrows and joys-
Dive deep into life,
Where no man's been before!
My love- My boy!"

My words? No! I wish they were, but they're the first verse and chorus of a song called "Dive Deep" by Suzi K.

I've been struggling for a week now to find inspiration for a new poem and have failed- Without my darling Liz to Inspire me, I have been barren of verse! until I heard this beautiful song!

Perhaps we dreamers should consider ourselves fortunate, for although we have endured a non dreamer season, we did indeed have a happy ending and hope for the future! What would we be doing now if fate were less kind to our beloved couple????


"I just couldn't lay there upon Maria's bed-
Feeling self pity and miserable, so instead-
I went to the mountain where the pod chamber was-
To bid my farewell to a love that once was!
We knew from the start that our chances were slim-
And I'd not be here at all if it wasn't for him!
I knew that his leaving, would tear me apart-
But I just had to watch it, I felt in my heart-
He didn't need to know that I was even there-
I just wanted to be there because I still care!
I stood far below for fear he might see-
The empty shell of a person he left here in me!
And as the ground rumbled, the sand turned to glass-
I knew that the granolith was heating up fast-
The rock became liquid and ran down like hot steel-
And this was the goodbye to a love once so real!
The top of the mountain had now blown away-
And in one final prayer, I begged that he'd stay-
But as I shielded my eyes from the bright of the light-
I saw the capsule my love rode in, shoot out of sight!

What is now to become of this heartbroken girl-
Who only wanted one thing in this world-
A love everlasting with the mate of my soul-
But I guess loving an alien is an unreachable goal!
All that we've been through has now come to this-
His departure from me with just a single goodbye kiss!
And now all that we had is just part of the past-
How foolish it was to think this love could last!"

And Max! My heart goes with you now-
To the edge of your dreams-
And you will dive deep into life-
And you will dive deep into sorrows and joys-
Dive deep into life- Where no man's been before!
My love, My love...........


And for you big hearted dreamers, who absolutely MUST have a happy ending............

"The tears stained my cheeks as I turned to go-
And I sobbed uncontrollably for in my heart I know-
I'll never love anyone like I loved him-
And my chances for happiness were now next to slim!
Only once in my life could I feel something this deep-
Now abandoned forever is the memory I must keep!
I should really hate him for what he has done-
But he warned me before our love even begun!
That this could happen, and with it he could live-
But to cause me this pain, himself he couldn't forgive!
And the way we both felt, about this budding romance-
We just couldn't live without taking the chance!
So now for the second time, I walk alone down this hill-
But deep down in my heart, I'm in love with him still!

I must just take one last look at the hill that once held-
The love of my life that now has been expelled-
And as I glance through the dust that has now filled the air-
The one love of my life is standing there!
As we run toward each other, I can hardly see-
Through the now tears of joy that are blinding me!
I fall into his arms and kiss the tears on his face-
And I feel so at home in his loving embrace!
"I just couldn't do it!" Were the words that he said-
To live life without you, I'd rather be dead!
And I promise you this Liz, as my sweet reprise-
That was the last time I'll ever cause tears in your eyes!
Together forever is the way it shall be-
After all, we create our own destiny!

"And Liz! We'll dive deep into life-
We'll dive deep into sorrows and joys-
I'll Dive deep into your loving heart---
Where no man has been before!.......................



How many times I waited there-
Outside your classroom door-
To get another look at you-
So I could know for sure-

That I wasn't really dreaming-
And that you truly do exist-
An angel straight from heaven-
It's so hard for me to resist-

The temptation to impose on you-
In my shy and clumsy way-
To offer you my friendship-
On this very special day!

For I have decided to reform myself-
To come out from behind the tree-
To take the chance and talk to you-
And for you to talk to me!

Maybe I'll wait until later on-
When at the Crashdown you are working-
I find myself there quite often lately-
Just watching you, and lurking!

Ya! I'll go there after school-
While things are kinda slow-
I'll bring my friend Michael with me-
So my desperation doesn't show!

I'll take my place in my usual booth-
And hope you notice me-
I'll start a conversation with you-
And maybe then you'll see-

The interest that I have in you-
Is more than just platonic-
Bigger than the world itself-
It's more like astronomic!

I think I can contain myself-
For another lonely day-
I'll use that time wisely too-
To think of some smooth way-

To capture your attention-
And maybe then your heart-
I would feel so lucky if-
Somehow a romance then would start!

So that's the plan I'm gonna use-
I'll come to the cafe-

Catch you where your most comfortable-
What could possibly go astray?

~Max~ 9/19/99..............

Not all angels

Not all angels come with wings-
Some arrive with other things-
Like flowing hair around a face-
That sometimes hide another grace!

Eyes that sparkle like a billion stars-
A scent of fragrance like meadow flowers-
A smile that takes your cares away-
A touch as warm as a summers day!

A heart as pure as mountain snow-
That makes the love within you grow-
With never a spoken unkind word-
From precious pouting lips unheard!

Sheís your teacher and your confidante-
Sheís everything you could ever want-
Sheíll decree itís better to give than take-
And set that example just for your sake!

With hands made for only you to hold-
But for only God will them she fold!
And youíll find reasons too to pray-
For him sending her to you this way!

Youíll find your life is now worth living-
Because of all the love sheís giving-
For not all angels come with wings-
Some come here with other things!

Heaven & Earth

Does heaven know the reason-
For this unique love of ours-
Were these feelings for each other-
Created in the stars?

Do the angels know the answers-
To the questions we might ask?
Or will we find them elsewhere-
Is this perhaps the devil's task?

It sometimes makes me wonder -
With the problems we must bear-
For you really must admit it-
We do get our fair share!

But then I have no doubt-
When I come to realize-
That all I see is heaven-
When I look into your eyes!

If God gave this love to us-
As some sort of a test-
He must know what he's doing-
And it must be for the best!

He must have had a reason-
From the heavens you were sent-
Here to earth to be with me-
If that indeed was his intent!

So I'll assume he's in control
And my love, for what it's worth-
No matter where you came from-
I'm glad you're here with me on earth!



I was selfish in a reckless way-
To drag you into this-
I fought so hard to stop myself-
But I could not resist!

For when we first connected-
That was the end for me-
All my self control was gone-
And all that I could see-

Were all the years I've watched you-
Had culminated into this--
A lifetime of me loving you-
Was simply too hard to resist!

But I was not prepared to cope-
With what we face today-
The hurt and pain upon your face-
And now the price that you must pay!

The deception that was necessary-
Has driven us apart-
And the truth that now has come to bear-
Lays so heavy on my heart!

For you in all you innocence-
And me with all my guilt-
Has created so much conflict-
In the love that we have built-

The pedestal I placed you on-
Is right where you belong-
For when I let my weakness show-
You, my love stayed strong!


If they only knew

I guess that we can't blame them-
for they just don't know why-
There is such a connection
between their daughter and this guy!

If only we could tell them
Then they would surely see-
The very special reason that-
you mean so much to me!

I wish that we could share with them
the truth so they would know-
How wonderful my life has been
And how much I love you so!

I know that what we've gone through
Has been an awful lot to bear-
But all of that has strengthened
This love that we two share!

We were born to be together
And together we must be-
Things would be so much simpler-
If they knew, then they would see-

The torture that I'm going through
Is tearing me apart-
It is no less painful than -
was that bullet in my heart!

And they wouldn't even have me here
If it weren't for you-

Evening of Roswell

T'was the evening of Roswell
and in our humble abodes-
We are anxiously awaiting
tonight's episode-

We have one VCR set
with tape shiny and new
Another as "back up"
in case one goes askew!

We are hoping the TV set
doesn't explode
And praying the Edison Co.
can carry the load!

For a blackout tonight
Would be a dire affair
There could be no disaster,
That one could compare!

If the lights were to blacken
in the midst of the show
There's no place this side of hell
that those guys could go-

If we can't eat by the TV
Then dinner must wait-
We have our priorities
So let's get that straight!

Nothin's more important
So let's have a rehearsal
What ever need doin'
Must be done during commercial!

We're nuts for this show
So just leave us alone
Don't ask us to get up
and answer the phone!

Get up to go to the bathroom?
There's not even a chance!
And miss a moment of Roswell?
I'd rather go in my pants!

I'll admit it I'm crazy
But just for this show
There are thousands just like me
I'll have you know!

So maybe we're normal
And just maybe we're not
But if you're not into Roswell
You should give it a shot!

You don't know what you're missin'
If you haven't seen Liz!
Or the fella she goes with
Cos' that's what love is!

So just let me tell ya
when the TV goes on
My body might be here
But in my mind I'll be gone!

Soon my couple will be coming
So I must sit right here!
With a fresh bag of pretzels
And a six pack of beer!

So don't bother me now
Till the end of the show
I won't do the dishes
or shovel the snow!

I am a "Dreamer
And I stand tall and proud!
So just let me be
for crying out loud!

I'll get back to ya
when Roswell is thru'
But I must watch the show now
If it's the last thing I do!

A dreamer!

Strength of heart

The distance between our worlds
can be hard to comprehend-
In a universe that seems to have
neither a beginning or an end-

How can two souls be so close
from these worlds so far apart?
Can it be that neither time or space
could overshadow strength of heart?

How do we explain to those
who feel not like we do?
Who have not yet experienced
True love like me and you?

I never would have believed it
had there not been the day-
that my life started over
in that strange and magic way!

I knew I found my soul mate
When I gazed into your eyes-
And when I saw into your heart
Therein was no surprise...

For I've been waiting patiently
giving heart and soul to none-
Knowing, feeling deep down inside
that surely you were to come!

I knew that soon you would arrive
but knowing not from where-
And destiny would delegate
The love that we would share!

The space between these world of ours
could not keep us apart-
For neither time or distance
can overshadow strength of heart!



Mere words cannot express the love
That I hold within my heart-
Or the emptiness that swallows me
When ever we're apart....

The helpless feeling that I get
When I see him walk away-
At evenings end and he must go
When I wish that he could stay...

The sacrifices that I've made
I have made of my free will-
Without regrets,.... well maybe some
But I'll stick with him until...

This body of mine withers
And no longer do I exist-
For what I have right now
I truly would have missed!

My heart has led me to this place
And I won't deny the pain-
But if perchance I had to
I would do it all again!



I got this strange sensation
When I woke up today...
That my life was going to change
In some special kind of way!

I really don't know how it can
for I'm just this small town girl...
Who lives a very simple life
In a very sheltered world!

I spend my days at school
With not much time for friends...
And I'm not with the "in crowd"
So to that- I won't pretend.

I work part time at the "Crashdown"
My Mom and Dad's cafe...
In fact that's where you'll find me
After school today!

And always in the corner booth
I find Max Evans sitting there...
Never does he say a word
He just sits there and stares!

I wonder if he likes me
Cos' the way he looks he might...
Well, I just can't imagine that
But if he did, it'd be all right!

It seems to me he's nice and all
But I wish that he would talk...
Cos' it feels kind of spooky
When he just sits there and gawks!

He has this kind of funny smile
like he wants with me to share...
Some secret that he's keeping
Of which no one is aware!

It's strange but when I think of him
In that kind of way...
I get that same sensation
That I woke up with today!

Liz Parker