ITEMS TO KEEP HANDY WHILE WATCHING
"THE END OF THE WORLD"

• #10 - Sliced cucumbers (to apply to our puffy & swollen eyes)
• #9 - A Wet/Dry Vacuum (to "suck" up the rivers of tears that will be falling)
• #8 - Voo Doo Doll (in the likeness of The Powers That Be - to stick pins in for "TORTURING" us Dreamers)
• #7 - A "Stiff" Drink - (to drown our sorrows in)
• #6 - Stun Gun (to "zap" any family members that DARE to make their presence known during the hour of Roswell)
• #5 - Alka Seltzer (to relieve our stomachache due to the anxiety that we have been feeling during the week before this episode)
• #4 - Kleenex (boxes and boxes of industrial strength kleenex to wipe away the tears)
• #3 - List of BBB Phone #'s (Must have phone numbers handy for the BBB Support Group so they can "talk us down" from jumping off the > roof after we see Max & Liz in so much pain)
• #2 - Telephone - (to call the BBB Support Group and/or a Mental Health Facility) And The Number One Item...
• #1 - JASON BEHR - All I ask is for Jason to hold my hand during this heartbreaking episode and then none of the above items will be needed. Now tell me, is that too much to ask for? No, I think not!!!!!! Deb in Texas NOW OUR LIST:
• a. tons of cotton for the padded room they will lock you in after Monday;
• b. a new TV because the one you'll be watching on will be shuttered because of all the items thrown at it!; (rotten tomatoes preferred!);
• c. Bellevue's Mental Ward (don't worry - I made reservations ahead of time for all of us!) The # is 212-574-4141;
• d. Delta's Reservation No. is 1-800-285-6025, and your tickets for Denial Land will be waiting for you at the gate! Your hour a day with Masseuse / Lifeguard Max has been confirmed!;
• e. The number for your stockbroker is 1-800-104-0514 so you can sell your Krispy Kremes stock and buy shares in Kimberley Clarke / Proctor & Gamble (Kleenex and Puffs tissues manufacturers!);
• f. Lamb skin to put around the handcuffs (straight-jackets hurt, you know);
• g. Your friendly pharmacy's phone number. Dr. Max already phoned in your prescription for the nice little pink and green pills that'll make you forget Max and Liz ever existed;
• h. CD player and the Max & Liz Moments CD and the Season I Roswell Music CDs to be played over and over and over (this is a must), with plenty of batteries;
• i. A nice little excuse so the Police Dept. doesn't take you away after you have knocked your family out (for disturbing you during that hour);
• j. 800-BAILOUT 'cause you'll need money to get out of jail (after the mass attack on the WB execs);
• k. one tank of gasoline to storm the WB offices;
• l. 8,000 KK donoughts to pummel the WB execs;
• m. 10 cases of cigarettes to exchange favors in jail because those big women can make you do things you REALLY don't want to do and you'll rather not do because to begin with, you never even heard about them before;
• n. stationery and soft crayons (jail doesn't allow sharp objects) to write the few members of the family who are still surviving; (if any)
• o. repeat tapes of Pilot, Heatwave, Blind Date, Sexual Healing to smuggle to jail with you;
• p. yellow reflective outerwear when you start walking the streets at 10 p.m. on Monday;
• q. black clothing 'cause you'll never wear any other color until M/L reunite again;
• q. ashes for your hair;
• r. Forget about the stunt-gun - let's make it an Uzzi for the ssssnake;
• s. Deb: Steff just told me to add: (question about No. 10 - does it have to be sliced? don't forget those nights in jail can be awfully lonely!);
• t. Steff would gladly, GLADLY, replace one of the items in this list (you guess which one) if you give her the item No. 1 in yours!
• u. Bus fare to attend the 12 Step Program, as ordered by the judge; (ORD as explained by Lori here!);
• v. Money to replace judge's gavel taken and thrown against wall when he said: what Roswell program is she talking about?
• w. Money to pay for judge's hospital stay for what happened to him immediately after he innocently asked: Who's Jason Behr?
• x. A harmonica because the judge changed the sentence right after
• w. above happened and I don't think he'll change his mind soon;
• y. Money to pay for hit man to get rid of the Appeals judge - somehow, he feels the original judge's permanent limp and permanent facial disfigurement shouldn't go without punishment; and, finally,
• z. Any hallucinogenic that will allow us to continue living in our little fantasy world where Dr. Max and Dr. Liz tend daily to our wounds and Tess is only a four letter word!
  
  MIM, Zippy and Steff